How my best friends ex-husband became the love of my life....
**OLD post from my old website that is being deleted. I didn't want to lose this blog post though. So I copy/pasted so I can look back on it. Enjoy. **
Catchy title huh? I can see that you're curious...
Well lets catch up friends!
So as some of you know my life went through some BIG changes this year. I found myself in a toxic relationship and made the decision to get out & start fresh! The kids and I got a cute little apartment, and started on our journey of healing.
A little ways into our healing an unexpected spark turned into a burning flame. Let me explain--
4 1/2 years ago at Braxton's preschool orientation I laid eyes on the most handsome man I've ever seen. I did what all creepers like myself do and immediately snuck a few cellphone pics of him and sent them to my sister saying " I just met my future husband'.
However, when I saw this man he was with another woman. So I assumed he was taken and forgot about it for a while. The preschool our children went to is a Co-Op preschool, so the parents take shifts and help in the classroom. I was assigned to work with the woman I saw him with. Her name is Casey and we instantly became best friends. We discovered we were both photographers and had very similar interests and same sense of humor. Not to mention our kids were best friends and basically obsessed with each other from the start.
I came to find out that Casey & the mysterious man were divorced but by that time I had already declared her my best friend and him strictly off limits.
Off-limits man found me on Facebook and messaged me saying I was ridiculously attractive and he would love to get to know me. ((Player vibes)) I immediately judged him and shut down his every attempt to hangout because OFF LIMITS remember? I will admit I did flirt back a couple times, and still thought he was incredibly, irresistibly attractive. He was my best friends Ex though. So absolutely no hanging out and all talking stopped--
A few months later we were both in new relationships with other people. Although we still saw each other daily in the pick up line at school. We attempted small talk and always nervously smiled at each other from a distance. (I don't usually get nervous but this boy made me stumble on all my words and my face beat red and hot.) We saw each other at his kids birthday parties and at all the school events. Still kept our distance.
Fast forward 4 years....
I was getting out of a terrible relationship and drunk on a boat with my best friend. (Obviously this is how you are supposed to handle a break up haha) I said to her, "Your Ex husband is so attractive, can I just marry him?" She looked at me laughing and told me she's always known we were attracted to each other, and said she didn't really care if we dated. They were really young when they got married they both felt like it was the right thing to do since they had twins together. They had been divorced for years at this point. Cue drunk snapchat to her Ex husband.... "I was thinking when we are both ready to get married in a few years.. we should just get married to each other" (( super not clingy and suave of me huh?))
"Yes for sure! July 18th, 2020"
Wait? What?! Did we just pick a wedding date without ever even hanging out. (yes, the answer is YES). So we immediately started dating and the rest is history right? No... The story gets longer... Are you bored yet?
A few days later he asks me if I can babysit for him because he had to work late and couldn't find anyone. This was a no brainer for me-- Our kids are best friends remember? He ended up having to work way later than expected and the kids were already fast asleep by the time he got to my house. Instead of having him wake the kids I asked if he wanted to sleep on the couch. He did! We stayed up talking for a while like old friends. Talking came easy and we weren't nervous around each other now. He talked about some girl he had been talking to and I talked about some guy I had been talking to. The next day we were invited by a mutual friend to go to his house on the lake. We went together with our 5 kids. (he has 2, I have 3). On the boat when my son Beckham would get fussy, Jimmy would willingly take him and try and entertain him to give me a break. Several people at the house asked how long we had been together because we 'co-parented so well.'
He asked me if sometime I wanted to get dinner. I joked and sent him a snap of the book I was reading, 'Calling in the One. 7 weeks to attract the love of your life' I said I'm sorry i'll be married in 7 weeks.
Then I promptly asked Siri... "what is the date 7 weeks from today?' Siri's reply: July 18th. The same date suggested for us to get married. Okay life-- you're getting a little weird.
The next night we were both 'kid free'. He asked me if I wanted to go get dinner and drinks. He showed up and we were dressed almost identical. We laughed and one of us changed. We talked, and talked. I was hooked- It was like I'd known him my whole life. I've never felt so comfortable with another person before. That night when he dropped me off I kissed him goodbye. I knew this was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I'd never been so sure about anything in my life before.
The next day we hung out again. We both said 'I love you' and meant it. You read that right... hung out two times, said I love you. Crazy right?
Almost immediately the kids started planning our wedding. They were loving it. Best friends possibly becoming brothers & sisters, what more could you want?
I had been going to therapy for months now. After such a damaging relationship I was in I felt like i really needed it. I was learning SO much about myself. For the first time in my life I felt like I was really thriving not just surviving. My therapist was a little shocked to hear of me falling so hard, so quickly. She wanted to meet him. He didn't hesitate at all, he immediately agreed to meet her.
When I went back without him-- My therapist told me how great Jimmy was for me & how she could tell how strong the connection was. She no longer was encouraging me to pump the breaks. Instead telling me to follow my heart.
My best friend and I are still best friends. She loves knowing I am there helping her raise her kids, instead of some woman she doesn't know. She knows how much I love her children and have for years. I'll never stop being thankful for her friendship. She has been with me through so many things these past almost 5 years and she is such a blessing in my life.
So you wanna know what friends? I found my soulmate. I've never loved someone like I love him. Its going on 5 months and we have been together every single day since our first date. (minus my week vacation to florida) I swear our love grows stronger every day. It isn't the honeymoon phase love either.. It's the calming, stable love.
I didn't believe in love at first sight, but I do now.
UPDATE: After a couple weeks of hanging out we moved in together! 5 months after first hanging out we got married! Then after a couple years we had a baby girl!